We may enjoy the odd selfie, some more than others (I’m talking to you Kim K!), but generally speaking, if we really think about it, how do we really feel about what’s staring back at us?
I think about this subject a lot, especially in my line of work where body perfection and ‘likes’ numbers take up large portions of my day. In a world where your Instagram ‘grid’ dictates your worth and losing followers feels like you’re the most unliked person in the world, it’s easy to lose perspective. Ella Gregory from Coco’s Tea Party put a fantastic post on Instagram last week when a picture hadn’t done as well as she hoped and it completely ruined her day. That scenerio is so relatable for so many of us but it’s so important to step away, see the bigger picture and start realising it’s all bulls*** in the grand scheme of things!
A woman who can do this much more eloquently is the wonderful Jacqueline Hurst. A trailblazing ‘mind’ expert, knowledgeable public speaker and ground breaking life coach, Jacqueline’s worldwide success is based in her unique approach and coaching methods.
“There is one basic human need that everyone wants, desires and is perpetually looking for. It’s called love,” Jacqueline says. “We look for love from our partners, our kids, our parents, our friends we seem to look for it simply everywhere except of course, from ourselves.”
Here are Jacqueline’s top tips on how to start loving you…
TREAT YOURSELF HOW YOU TREAT YOUR LOVED ONES
When you feed your kids you sit them down at a table to eat their meal. Are you doing the same for you? When your partner wants that special handbag or manbag (!) but won’t buy it for themselves and you go and do that for them, are you spoiling yourself in the same way? The point here is that when you love others you treat them well. Start to treat yourself well. In the words of L’Oreal ‘you are worth it’.
DO WHAT YOU LOVE
Partaking in activities that nourish your soul is very important when it comes to self love. Whether it’s an early night, a great movie, a hot bath, lovely candles or a good book, then you owe it to yourself to incorporate these things into your life. Doing the things you love breeds happiness. It’s a conscious way of telling yourself that you are taking care of yourself. Doing the things you really love to do is you being kind to you. Schedule it, organize it and do it. You will thank yourself for it – trust me.
STOP JUDGING YOURSELF
Speaking to yourself in a negative way is simply mean. We are all learning and growing, and no one gets it right all the time, neither do they have a perfect life. When you give up on beating yourself up that’s when the real love comes in. You wouldn’t speak to someone you love how you speak to yourself so it’s time to lock that stuff down and change your tune. Think of a baby learning to walk. It falls down a lot and it simply gets back up again, smiling, and gives it another go. It doesn’t berate itself. The tip here is this – when you judge you miss the lesson.
Saying no does not make you unlikable or mean. It doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you clever. If you really want to love you, you will take care of you and not people please. Loving yourself means respecting yourself and that means you are your priority. You don’t ever have to do anything, it’s always a choice. And in that respect you can choose to say no. Give yourself some self respect, time and some love back by getting on the no-bus. You will be amazed at how things change, how much more time you have and how great your ‘self’ will feel when you start to put you first.
Jacqueline’s private practice can be found here and her school is here