Today is my 29th birthday and I’ve realised something profound – I’m old. And that’s totally fine. FOMO was very much present in my early and mid twenties – should I be travelling? Should I be a manager of something by now? Am I earning enough? Should I be married? All of these ‘shoulds’ filled my brain on a daily basis and the answer to all of them is NO. Why? Because I refuse to let my life be controlled by ‘shoulds’ and file it under ‘life lessons’ instead. But that’s something that has come with time for me and trust that where I am right now is exactly where I SHOULD be.
I truly believe there’s a path for everyone that’s laid out from when we’re born and that is our fate. Everything really does happen for a reason – even when it’s shit and painful and doesn’t make sense at the time. It really does lead on to bigger and better things. Our teenage years are always described as the most difficult but I think our twenties are far harder. We change so much as a person and our relationships change so dramatically as a result. People we thought were going to be friends for life turn out to not be the person we thought they were and it’s one of the most disappointing feelings ever. And that childhood sweetheart we thought was The One? Perhaps not. My early twenties were so exciting and fun – I felt like such a grown-up and thought I had it all figured out but the reality is, life throws curveballs and it makes us realise we don’t actually know anything at all. And that’s fine too because it shapes who we are and who we will become – it gives us something that’s totally invaluable…life experience. And this my friends, makes us really f-ing strong people in the end.
So while I have people in my life who are travelling, married, having children or getting that big promotion, I’ve learnt that that’s brilliant for them, but it’s not necessarily where I should be right now. I’m 29 years old on Friday – my last year in my twenties and I’m so happy about that! So, things I’ve learnt as a late-twentieser? There’s nothing I love more than to stay in with my boyfriend and our cat watching Planet Earth on a Sunday night, buying a new pair of PJ’s makes my week and having a really good glass or two of red wine makes me forget a terrible day. My perfect weekend is a walk in the countryside followed by a roast and sometimes a cup of tea hits the spot just as much as a Mojito. And it’s all…fine.
Although I still don’t really know what I’m doing with areas of my life, I’m sure it’ll all figure itself out and one thing I SHOULD do is stop worrying about it all.