HOW TO STOP PUTTING PRESSURE ON YOURSELF

pressure on yourself

The last couple of weeks have been the most hectic, probably ever! I’m sorry I’ve been rubbish at scheduling posts, mostly because I’ve moved house. I know, so what, right? But, I think the magnitude of this can only ever really be understood by someone who has also bought a house and realise the massive pain in the arse it is. It’s carnage. The most stressful experience ever and it completely takes over your life. I’m not even being dramatic here! I had lots of lovely Christmas posts that I wanted to share with you all and I spent the weekend in a sulk that I kept running out of time to shoot them. But, I’m trying to learn to put less pressure on myself and accept that sometimes life just gets in the way. And that’s fine. There’s no point fighting it and as much as I love doing my blog and sharing elements of my life and things I’m trying, buying a house is an epic event in my life. I’ve been waiting for this to happen for over a year and there’s been a lot of obstacles in the way. But, I really believe that everything happens for a reason.

So, while I was frantically unpacking boxes, scrubbing cupboards and generally injuring myself with anything in my path (mops, door frames, hoovers, you name it!), I thought that instead of being annoyed that I haven’t shot the post I want, I should adapt to something else – like sharing how I’m feeling! I’ve put pressure on myself since my uni days when I’d stay in and do coursework instead of partying and it’s something that I think has got worse over the years. I spoke to my girlfriends about it last week and couldn’t believe that all of them said they were the same. Whether it’s finding the perfect Christmas present, looking a certain way or even posting enough on Instagram. What is going on? We’re all feeling not good enough in one way or another and it’s not doing anything for our self esteem. So, I asked the wonderful life coach Jacqueline Hurst to put together some top tips to ease the pressure.

1. SET REALISTIC GOALS

Stop giving yourself goals that are unrealistic. This pressure will ultimately make you go the other way! The GROW model is always a great tool here. What’s the Goal, Reality, Options and Will. That way you can break it down and make your goal happen without the added unnecessary pressure.

2. REALISE NO ONE IS PERFECT

Stop scrolling through Instagram and looking at perfect pictures thinking that’s that persons life. No one is going to upload a picture of the tough times or looking awful. Everyone has ups and downs so don’t use a picture to compare their outsides to your insides.

3. TALK TO YOURSELF LIKE YOU DO YOUR BEST FRIEND

Ultimately if you aren’t talking to yourself in the way you would anyone else then it’s not acceptable. Talk kindly to yourself. Negative self talk is harmful and unhelpful.

4. GO SLOW

We live in such a fast paced world and want everything now but remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. Slow and steady is often a lot better than fast and furious (and missing the point!).

5. A SKILLED SAILOR NEVER BECAME SKILLED OVERNIGHT

Remember this sentence and it will stand you in good stead. Skill takes practice and patience so be kind, take the pressure off and remind yourself every day that doing even one thing towards your goal is helping your skill.

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