To say my schedule is over-loaded right now is the biggest understatement and over the last couple of weeks it’s become a bit too much. From negotiating family politics, blogging and taking home work from the office to planning the wedding and organising house bits, I thought my head was going to explode. It got to the point where I couldn’t write more than five words without a new text / call / Whatsapp / Tweet pulling my gaze away from my screen. An I’d reply to them all because I care. So I stopped and decided to care less. I turned it off, closed my laptop and went for a run. Those 25 minutes was the most care-free I’d felt all weekend.
Whilst I was in California, I was so blown away by the way the locals lived and their care-free attitude that I told myself I would make more time for me when I got home. Typically, that hasn’t always happened. But, it got me thinking about every element of my life and how the problem was perhaps that I cared too much. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and family, I’m always there for them but perhaps some of the noise that came with it was encroaching on my own life a little too much.
Likewise, my job is so important to me but ultimately, it doesn’t define me and a lot of what I don’t agree with or get frustrated with doesn’t matter. I should care less about what’s not in my control. When I go home at the end of the week, am I still thinking about that last minute image change I worked so hard on? Probably not. Does it impact my home life? Definitely not. So, maybe separating your passion and compassion from your own needs and protecting your own happiness is the key to maintaining some sanity in this crazy busy world. Here’s what I’ve figure out about how to care less so far…
REMEMBER WHAT’S IMPORTANT
Have you ever done something because it will keep everyone but you happy? I’m definitely guilty of that and it seems like a good idea at the time. But, when it starts chipping away at bits of your soul it’s time to stop. Whether it’s taking a job to please your parents or giving up your evening plans every week to counsel your friend, every now and again, try putting yourself first and ask what YOU want.
This one comes with a warning. Absolutely say your sorry when you’re in the wrong and know you are but. But if you’ve started apologizing for how you are, for someone else or just generally breathing then it’s time to rein it in. There comes a point, even when you’re in the wrong when there’s only so many times you can say your sorry. If they can’t accept it and move in there comes a point when it becomes their stuff to work through and yet another apology won’t make a dent in that.
DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
When it comes to work I MASSIVELY sweat the small stuff and worry about things that haven’t even happened yet. But the clincher is that in a week or month’s time I wouldn’t be able to tell you what it was. I remember, as a teenager, friend fall-outs and break-ups became all-consuming as you frantically over-analysed every detail until the following day when all was well. Although we’re all grown up and the problems are different, the premise is still the same. Did your boss sound a bit off in that email? Was it because you filed that report an hour late? Did your friend mean to not send you any kisses in that text? Was it because you didn’t reply last week? Ultimately, we don’t know what everyone’s going through – what happened to giving each other the benefit of the doubt?
Every now and again, try putting yourself first and ask what YOU want.
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